right now i’m about a month away from being properly medicated for adhd. i’m on a non-stimulant in the meantime, but it doesn’t seem to be doing much.
some family members have told me i’m putting too much hope into adhd medication fixing my life. but i really believe my inattentive adhd is severe. there’s a gut feeling i can’t shake that something has been off my whole life, and the medication feels like a lifeline thrown to me while i’m struggling to stay afloat.
honestly, i’m at a dead end, and it’s the only thing i have to look forward to. i’ve cut my hours at work so i’m barely working, and i hate the job. it’s hard to even pretend i like being there.
i don’t feel depressed, thanks to my medication. it’s more that i feel lost. i stopped it for three days to see if it would get rid of the tremor in my legs, and i felt so much worse that i went right back on. i can’t train legs at the gym because they shake violently even with the lightest weight. i suspect it’s a side effect of one of the many medications i’m on, but i’d rather skip leg day than hate my life.
i’m so lost that i spend hours driving every day just because i have nothing else to do.
that’s where i’m at. one month to go.